The one true vermouth

For about as long as I've been seriously into cocktails, I've been confused by the relative fates of sweet and dry vermouth. How many times have you been to a modestly stocked party to see gin, vodka, whiskey, some juice and sodas, and finally an untouched bottle of dry vermouth. People apparently think that since martinis have dry vermouth that dry vermouth is the important one. These people are missing out horribly. They are also not making the most of their drink-making opportunities, but that's a separate rant.

Sweet Vermouth as a theme was more of an ad hoc exhibition round for me, as neither of my cocktails were actually original — more French discoveries that I felt needed to be shared with my friends and ferric fellows of mixing.

The first was an accidental discovery while visiting Plenty over in Paris. I had brought with me a bottle of bourbon, as required by any international American traveller, and a bottle of bitters, as required by anyone who knows he is visiting a lover of Manhattans. This meant we needed to go to the grocery store to get some sweet vermouth, wherein we learned two things: vermouth is dirt cheap in France and Martini (euro-branded Martini and Rossi) came with a sample bottle of tonic water so that one could make Martini and Tonics. Not one to pass up a simple and interesting sounding idea, we made one according to the simple recipe on the bottle and took a sip. It was like noticing that a dusty old urn on the mantle, when cleaned, was a ming vase. As with water in whiskey, the tonic lets each of the myriad flavors in the vermouth have their fifteen minutes of fame on your tongue. And amazingly at the end, more than anything else, the flavor is BRIGHT. Sure, there is a slightly bitter finish (damn well had better be), but you approach it with a set of rich lemon flavors.

And that's just Martini. The truly fun part is that when you do this each different vermouth makes an entirely different drink. M Blood&Sand has tried it with more vermouths and amari than I have, but all I can say is that Martini is good, but heavy-handed and syrupy compared to Noilly Prat. Of course, why would you use Noilly when you could instead use Cinzano, which is full of rich vanilla flavors.

Oh yeah, here's how to make one:

Vermouth and Tonic:

• 2-3 parts vermouth of your choosing (experiment!)
• 1 part tonic

Put in a tumbler. For extra fun, place a slice of orange in your glass so it covers the drink.

The next drink involves a bitters called Picon Biere that you can't get in the US, as best as I know. It tastes more or less like an orange flavored Campari, though far less astringent, and is designed to be mixed with beer. Specifically, crisp and boring beers. We've tried a number of blondes and pale ales, but so far the best thing for it has actually been Yuengling. The Picon Biere is not the most interesting drink in the world, but it's very satisfying on a warm day.

Picon Biere

• A bottle of beer (Yuengling, 1664, or whatever you think would work)
• About an ounce of Picon Biere

Pour in the Picon, then the beer. Now go sit outside and enjoy some grilled meat.